Possessing charm is like a little superpower or a sort of mystical spell🔮
My fixation with this concept bloomed in the spring of ‘24, when Clairo’s Charm was on its way to being released. The first single, Sexy to Someone, went straight into the loop precisely because it embodied the album’s title so well.
It felt breezy. It felt smooth. It felt flirtatious.
Feeling intrigued by how charm could be materialized in sound, i found myself obsessing over the question of what exactly makes something —or someone—charming.
Whenever I get caught in these FUN, abstract concepts (dude i love me a good concept), i like to resort to sillily dump a word map. going from my head to my heart, and instead of rationalizing things straight away, i simply depict whatever comes to mind first, flowing and eventually reaching concepts of greater depth.
After doing so, you can get to the analytical stage (even more fun imo), where you get to tie these ideas. in our case here, there were two clear categories: charming traits and charming items. let’s proceed to dissect both🍴
Charming Individuals, to me
Old as tale of time is the saying that any human quality — such as beauty — is subjective in the eyes of the beholder. Naturally, i will be sharing charming traits according to my perception, but i am sure you will agree that most of them hold some universality to them.
Keywords written in my notebook: Spontaneity, Calmness, Welcoming, Confidence, Unique, Particular, Natural, Not Overpowering & not a try-hard, Cuchi* but not Naive, Unapologetic, Charisma (duh).
After a few minutes of reflection, connecting the dots, and tying everything together, the common denominator behind all these words seemed to be authenticty.
Being true to their own personality, spirit, or character (Merriam Webster) derives in all the qualities I just listed. It implies being in a very comfortable position enough with your essence, so much so that you can engage in interactions in a state of flow in total alignment with who you are, and what you believe in, and detach from the external worries of perception towards the self.
This is, in principle.
But as I basked in my neat little theory, a crack formed through a beautifully opportune convo with Pao, a beauty of a friend who shares with me a great deal of sensitivities, including our clear awareness of the nuances lying in both circumstances and people’s behavior and intentions.
She, ever so timely, brought to the table our subject of study (charm). won’t reveal the details as girl talk is confidential with double lock🔏 but, as we were speaking, my mind listed a myriad of people i know deemed as “charming”, knowing well that they lacked that comfort in their essence just described.
Not wanting to disrupt the talk, i kept the doubt to myself. faced with a paradox I couldn’t untangle alone, i resorted to the artificial mind to solve a human enigma.
The bag of shame i carry over admitting the fact i used AI to an seek answer to a human enigma weights 87kg, though it would it have doubled had I faked to come to this conclusion on my own terms.
My awe over the sensible writing of this thing is unexplicable. Claude delivered.
It is on the right track: trying to be charming is the fastest way to kill the spell. You can try aaaaall you want to become charming yourself…but if it doesn’t come from a place of authenticity, it will get to a point where it feels draining and off to you, and to the one that’s in front. true charm comes from a place of powerful and magnetic self love.
Examples of Authentic Charm
🪄 Think of a cool uncle engaging in a fun interaction with his niece. that is one charming hell of a guy. he’s not taking himself seriously and it’s not afraid to seem like a dork at the expense of his loved one’s delight.
🪄 A deeply charismatic individual, only a few people have had the pleasure to meet. Gio Cocco: my Italian (if you couldn’t tell), gay, and the most un-Finance-like Finance professor to ever exist.
He was unapologetically himself, in every sense of the word.
His classes were filled up with analogies of how NPV (Net Present Value for the finance noobs) was the God of valuation methods — following a rant and discussion with a classmate about his atheist conviction, continuous usage of Allo
ras, and tiny squeals that spoke to his feminine traits.
He didn’t fight off his peculiarities to fit into the notion of who he was supposed to be. This compendium of peculiarities made him seem not only super genuine but a remarkable person in student’s minds. Nobody could hate the guy even if they wanted to.
Charming Things, to me
on a lighter note 🎼, let’s take a look at some little charming items that came to mind during my brainstorm, some more evident than others. i will try my best to make sense of those that might not strike a chord to everyone, and by doing so, maybe i am able to discover the rationale behind my judgement.
Keywords in my notebook: Maj7 chords*, Bangs, Emojis*, Hidden Corner or Spot, Big Windows of dutch houses*, pancakes, Golden Retrievers, SmileS & ESPECIALLY winks, Post It Notes, Sitting in the Bar at a Bar, Pandora Charms, Sparkles & Spirals, Prince Charming
Big Windows of Dutch Houses
there’s nothing quite like the thrill of peeking into la cotidianidad. judging their interior design choices, the show they chose to tune into, the tiny crafts perched on the windowsill—pure gold for any devoted people-watcher. just make sure they don’t catch you staring for too long!
Maj7 chords
my lack of music theory knowledge obstructs me here, although the reason probably doesn’t lie in the technicalities. there’s something about a Maj7 chord that just shimmers. i just know i always lean on it toward the end of a song. It lingers, just enough. better explained by one Quora user,
Maybe because you are taking the most stable chord, the major triad, and adding another very stable, consonant major third. So all very beautiful - except that last note is a crashing dissonance to the root of the chord. So the combination of the stability and dissonance gives you something that can just sort of sit there and shimmer. This is all very subjective - our ears are very used to this sound, but go back a couple of centuries and people would have found it unpleasant until that seventh resolved to the octave. We are able to tolerate that dissonance and even enjoy it. Maybe it's a little like enjoying spicy or sour food, or coffee.
Preman Tilson on Why does the Major 7th chord sounds so awesome?
Post It Notes
this item is a staple of mine. it speaks to spontaneity. unpolished thoughts, quiet whispers to stick. they can accompany an act of service, such as a homemade lil meal to go from my mom, or contain a mantra to carry with me throughout the day.
Emojis
EMOJIER OVER HERE! people who refuse to use emojis take themselves too seriously, and show airs of superiority. the antonym of charm👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼
🖐🏼🤚🏼⤵️ the best one so far